Anyway

Written by

Jenny Lynne Stroup

Finite.

The end. 

Aren’t endings just beginnings anyway?

One door closes, another door opens. 

Isn’t that what we’re told- to snatch opportunity from the jaws of death and dying.

That thing didn’t work out- it wasn’t meant for you.

The relationship ended- he wasn’t the one. 

How on earth could we possibly become something finite, final, the end?

It’s not just the most useless question to ask a child. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s the most useless question to ask me- a forty-four-year-old adult.

There is nothing that I like less than being asked for my five-year plan. Five-year plan? I probably won’t even live here then- how could I possibly know something that only the future can determine?

What I do know is that I am becoming– that even the version of me who was yesterday, barely resembles the version of me who woke up today. Something or many somethings happened across the span of 24 hours that fundamentally changed me. 

A loss, a joy, a failure, a success- all change me. Change the way I approach the next thing. How I respond to someone. Show up in a crowded room. These somethings, marked in 24-hour increments, make up the me that will only know the answer to “what I want to be when I grow up”, when I actually get there.

To ask before that is premature, because I’m still becoming– learning, growing, changing. My god, the changing- does it ever end? Sometimes I long for the days when I could not discern the changing. Some days, I think, take me back- back to the days I was blissfully unaware. 

The realization of becoming is not for the faint of heart.

Yet, I know. I know the answer is yes; the changing does end- when you’re dead- final, finite. And I am none of those things today. 

So, I will keep becoming, learning, changing, growing- and not answering the question, “What are you going to be when you grow up?”

…because I’ll only know when I finally get there.

Jenny Lynne Stroup is a native of the Hampton Roads, Virginia area. She is the spouse of a prior-enlisted, combat experienced naval officer and a mother of two children.

Stroup’s mission and passion to serve, advocate for, and deliver resources and encouragement to active-duty service members, veterans, and their families while bridging the gap between the
military and civilian communities is born of her personal experience. Jenny Lynne grew up a civilian in the shadow of the world’s largest Navy base yet had no idea what military life entailed. She uses stories to connect to others, by showcasing the human experience through the lens of being an active-duty military spouse. Her works are represented in her publishing credits including a personal blog, Task & Purpose, the Warhorse, Military.com, and Legacy Magazine as well as co-hosting several seasons of the Holding Down the Fort Podcast.

Jenny Lynne is most proud of her willingness to be vulnerable to build community and the bounty of people that vulnerability has brought into her life. She is constantly amazed and delighted that ‘her people’ include everyone from her immediate family to the ‘framily’ that live all across the globe.

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