On an icy Alaska road, I made my daughter a promise: I’d find her a horse. What we didn’t know was that choosing Bruce would ask more of us than we ever expected, and that loving him would mean choosing him again, and again, and again.
More often than not, though, those ideas end up taking on a life of their own once I finally dedicate myself to being their conduit to a heartbeat. It’s like—not a birth—but a coming-of-age. And every, single time, that journey through puberty, adolescence, and into adulthood for my stories also spells a coming-of-age for me.
There are days when the noise is too loud—when the talk of new wars, sacrifice, and uncertainty makes even something as simple as a cup of tea with a silly hat-wearing friend feel impossible. And still, we show up. We love. We try. We endure.
Our service members often fight for the “unlovable.” They don’t get the luxury to linger at the top of the hole. They jump and they fight. Maybe that is the approach we need to take with those who are “unlovable” in our lives.
Follow along below to witness the very first VSP Writers’ Retreat. In February 2026, Veteran and active duty military spouses travelled from six different states to create, to bond, to celebrate the beautiful fragility of being broken open.
That night, as I lie in our bed alone, I feel it…the loneliness. The absence of his breathing on the pillow beside me turns the room into a vacuum. The missing warmth of his body, his chest beneath my head, the rhythmic thud of his heartbeat – I’ve forgotten how to live without them.
This feels like deployment. Not just the absence but the underlying worry. It’s always there, always in your throat, behind your eyeballs, shoved under your fingernails.
It was my heart I had to check when I began to know my husband in ways that had nothing to do with being a hero, running off and saving the world. I told myself so many things to validate 25 years of chaos. Who were we out here? How did we relate when all our marriage had ever known was war? A truth I hid behind the heroism began to peek out, I had only myself to look at when I didn’t know how to look at him.
This online monologue writing class with playwright Amy Uptgraft will enable you to share your own military spouse story from your heart to script.
Join VSP’s Audra Edwards as she guides you through the world of poetry and helps you tell your military spouse story, using prompts inspired by your favorite Netflix’s “Bridgerton” characters!
Join VSP for an evening of gabs, laughs, and connection with your military spouse community. As we prepare for the holiday of Thanksgiving or just a season of reflection, this “special edition” of VSP Talks will focus in on the theme of being grateful in whatever way that topic speaks to you!
Veterans Spouse Project (VSP) is the only nonprofit arts organization in the nation working to give voice to the experiences of military spouses through theatre and creative arts. Learn more about how to share, connect, listen, and create with us in your community.