Written by
Jenny Lynne Stroup
Originally published as “Dreams” on Jenny Lynne’s Substack found here.
“Dreams don’t change, we just pretend we don’t want them anymore.” -Amber McBride, Me (Moth)
Denial, it turns out, is not just a river in Egypt. It is an ever-present river that twists and turns as it flows around my brain, dampening the desires of foregone dreams.
Most of the time I don’t even realize it’s there, running through my head, downplaying something that used to matter so much.
But lately that river has slowed, its rushing waters no longer softening the edges of who I am and what I want. The clarity that arrived with this ebb came with a lot of work and something that closely resembles healing. Yet, it has almost been too stark a contrast to the lazy river of denial I’ve spent a lot of time floating in the last several years.
As that clarity sharpened, the dreams returned. No longer dull to my own desires, I’ve begun to consider not just who I want to be – someday – but who I am, today.
At the end of 2025, I downloaded Ann Patchett’s memoir entitled, This is the Story of a Happy Marriage. I picked it up for many reasons, mostly though, because I love her stories, and I wanted to read her story. I’m always fascinated when an author who traditionally writes one genre can branch out and write something else entirely. I am happy to report I was not disappointed.
But more than that – it’s not just that I wasn’t disappointed – I was something else entirely – alive.
I lay in bed each night with my Kindle aglow and read her words on life and writing, and I felt the thing I feel when I write. The spark. The buzz. The creativity. And I thought, “It’s not too late. I’m not too tired or too sad or too old.” And even though I have been so consumed with trying not to drown in the river, I have, at least for today, made it safely ashore.
On this shore, I’m more present with myself, not swept away by the rushing current. Not having to paddle so hard to stay afloat allows some time for creativity, for intention.
Writers write. That’s what Ann told me.
It is with great abandon that I return to the dream of being a writer. Of doing the thing that makes me feel alive, connected, both grounded and aloft.
With my head clear of the river of denial, I have time to dream.
Photographs by Jenny Lynne Stroup
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JENNY LYNNE STROUP is a native of the Hampton Roads, Virginia area. She is the spouse of a prior-enlisted, combat experienced naval officer and a mother of two children.
Jenny Lynne’s mission and passion to serve, advocate for, and deliver resources and encouragement to active-duty service members, veterans, and their families while bridging the gap between the military and civilian communities are born of her personal experience. Jenny Lynne grew up a civilian in the shadow of the world’s largest Navy base yet had no idea what military life entailed.
She uses stories to connect to others by showcasing the human experience through the lens of being an active-duty military spouse. Her works are represented in her publishing credits including a personal blog, Task & Purpose, The Warhorse, Military.com, and Legacy Magazine as well as co-hosting several seasons of the Holding Down the Fort podcast.
Jenny Lynne is most proud of her willingness to be vulnerable to build community and the bounty of people that vulnerability has brought into her life. She is constantly amazed and delighted that “her people” include everyone from her immediate family to the ‘framily’ that live all across the globe.
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